There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
