Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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