Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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