Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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