Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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