So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
