i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
