Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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