There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize