please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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