I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
