My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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