just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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