Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
