Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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