We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize