The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
