i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
