did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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