Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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