Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
