Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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