I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
