drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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