Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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