if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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