Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
