I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
