Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Ladies don't puke and tell
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
