Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
