Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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