just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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