I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.