Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.

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(303): I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is. http://tfl.nu/uj2o

Replies (14) Good night (3611) Bad night (694)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.

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(304): my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app. http://tfl.nu/wpzp

Replies (25) Good night (1262) Bad night (5914)
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(850): View more from Florida

Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.

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(850): Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing. http://tfl.nu/n4ke

Replies (18) Good night (4102) Bad night (1701)
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(916): View more from California

I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.

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(916): I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was. http://tfl.nu/vzii

Replies (9) Good night (1076) Bad night (2217)
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(562): View more from California

My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.

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(562): My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me. http://tfl.nu/w036

Replies (5) Good night (1018) Bad night (2418)
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(740): View more from Ohio

I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.

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(740): I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am. http://tfl.nu/gox1

Replies (2) Good night (1844) Bad night (602)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.

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(615): Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities. http://tfl.nu/y5al

Replies (8) Good night (1661) Bad night (884)
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(410): View more from Maryland

halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt

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(410): halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt http://tfl.nu/2dpk

Replies (8) Good night (2822) Bad night (634)
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(416): View more from Toronto

I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home

(647): View more from Ontario

Was he satisfied?

(416): View more from Toronto

No, and very vocal about it.

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(416): I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home (647): Was he satisfied? (416): No, and very vocal about it. http://tfl.nu/h3jb

Replies (8) Good night (2500) Bad night (771)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding

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(613): Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding http://tfl.nu/o6yr

Replies (6) Good night (695) Bad night (1237)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.

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(937): I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus. http://tfl.nu/cdmo

Replies (6) Good night (576) Bad night (748)
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(360): View more from Washington

Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.

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(360): Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days. http://tfl.nu/cbkv

Replies (7) Good night (467) Bad night (717)
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(480): View more from Arizona

It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.

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(480): It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/0fqk

Replies (3) Good night (713) Bad night (236)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.

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(541): Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper. http://tfl.nu/4og2

Replies (7) Good night (714) Bad night (337)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY

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(717): WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY http://tfl.nu/nywf

Replies (2) Good night (500) Bad night (209)

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