if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
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Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
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I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed