Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!

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(248): View more from Michigan

don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.

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(434): View more from Virginia

The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(954): View more from Florida

i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.

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(309): View more from Illinois

so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

he fucked my hip out of place.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else

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