At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
