the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just had sex on a roof
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.