is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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