i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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