THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize