If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
