Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
