We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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