my sisters under your porch take her home
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
