Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
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