So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
this is an emotional support booty call
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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