My brain says no but my pants say off.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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