Small penises have feelings too.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We have so much sex to catch up on
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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