I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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