So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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