So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize