my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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