Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
