You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
