Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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