That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
MIDGETS
????
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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