It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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