Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
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Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
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Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
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