I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
