singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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