girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
