My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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