I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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