this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
