My cat gives me a boner
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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