You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize