found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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